I have to admit, I’m not very good at commenting. I love to read, I love to share, but I so rarely take the time to actually leave a comment on the posts I find interesting. It’s a very bad habit – especially because I know how much I enjoy receiving and reading comments left on my posts, and I know how important they are to the authors of the posts I read.

My problem is that it takes me so long to decide exactly what I want to say that I’m almost always rushing off to do something else by the time I’m ready to actually write (this is the same problem, by the way, that causes me to take 3 hours to write a post). I really wish I was quicker on the fingers, so to speak, but I’m not. I do a little too much thinking sometimes. What that really means is not that I shouldn’t comment, but that I should just write what first comes to mind and comment even more, later, if after thinking about I have something else to say.

The other part of the problem is that I’m a perfectionist and I actively avoid doing things that I may not do well at (unfortunately, this doesn’t mean that I do everything well, it just means that I don’t usually see it coming when I fail). Plus, I’m a bit of a control-freak, so if it’s something I can’t go back and edit, I take even longer to decide exactly how I want to phrase my comments.

And, of course, the final issue I have with commenting is that I already spend way too much time online. I’ve noticed that, this year in particular, I spend more time online, but still never seem to get around to what I really want to do (mostly because I’m busy processing the overwhelming amount of info I find interesting and relevant). It’s frustrating, and it’s definitely making it hard to achieve any sort of balance that we’re all striving for. So, I’ve kind of let the commenting side of thing slide, in favor of consuming as much as possible in the time I have (this is also part of my tendency to hoard – usually related to food, but now, thanks to the convenience of tagging and filing, seems to apply to online information as well).

Well, now that I’ve cleared the air about my serious type-A personality issues, the bottom line is that I need (and want) to make more of a conscious effort to be a part of the conversation (even on my own blog, where it can take me ages to respond to comments as well. Ug.) A recent twittversation (is that a word?) with Sue Waters about the importance of commenting has refocused my efforts back on commenting. Plus, being the information hoarder that I am, I appreciate all of the easy ways to track online conversations that Sue outlines here.

The thing is, when I take the time to actually leave a comment, the content of the post sticks in my mind and pushes my thinking much more so than when I just read. I find that when I leave a comment, I’m more likely to see the connections between the various posts I read, and more likely to follow the links provided in the initial post, as well as read the blogs of the other commenters on the same post. (Ironically, this is one of the reasons I haven’t been doing so much commenting – since I always have too much to read, the last thing I want to do is get so interested in a topic that I read more than I expected, right?). But in the end, that’s the whole point, isn’t it? Not just to consume, but to contribute as well. And not just to contribute your own experiences (which takes me long enough as it is), but to develop and contribute your own unique perspective on the connections between all that you read, watch, and hear.

So, I’ve worked my way right back around to the problem of balance again. Clearly, I need to take a lesson from our ISB elementary school goals for next year – it’s more important to focus and deepen learning than it is to just get all the information you can. Now, if only I could decide what to throw out and what to keep in… It’s all so interesting!

Calcutta Coffee House image from lecercle
Stuck image from TeeRish
Camera image from Thomas Hawk

Tags: commenting, comments, comment, conversation, blogging, focus, balance, connections, Sue Waters,

19 thoughts on “Commmitting to Conversations

  1. It’s a good point. I think we all love to get comments, but I know I often suffer from the same “I’ll come back to that” syndrome. I realy must get better at commenting. Consider this comment the start of my new leaf turning over. ;-)

    Really though, I will usually comment when I feel I have something to add… too often it’s easy to feel like you’re just part of the echo chamber, adding a little “me too!” to what somebody else has already said so eloquently and cleverly.

    So there ya go Kim. I can’t add much – you were already eloquent and clever – but I had to add a comment. Catch ya.

  2. I love commenting. It makes me feel part of the conversation. But there are times I delete my comment as soon as I hit save because I have thought of something better to say.

    My way of balancing right now is to almost completely ignore my blog reader. I know it’s a really bad habit and I miss a great deal of terrific blogs. But I seem to read so many blogs through twitter links that this is all I have time for. Maybe if I didn’t comment so often…(I’m beginning to see a pattern here.)

  3. I think that the “human” side of people comes out in the imperfections of the comments though too, don’t they? The same could be said of a tweet. A blog post requires time, effort, editing, selectivity about what links to put in or out. It is our best face. Ning or other discussion group comments can go either way. What the students have over us is that they don’t find this polish necessary all the time. Argue if you must, but I think we have to throw off the 7th grade English teacher hanging over our shoulder at every sentence. What we need to collaborate with the students about is the ability to discern when to labor over written communication. I have a perfectionistic trait too–if you can call it that with two four year olds clamoring for a game of Chutes and Ladders right now. This comment could use a little work, but I am just going to throw it out there. Of course, sometimes a quickie gets the tone all wrong and ends up misrepresenting the author, but that is also something that does not scare the kids, they just apologize and move on. Is it just me, or does the browser jump every time anyone tries to type an apostrophe?
    Sarah

  4. Hey Kim.

    I really think you are right on the mark with this one.

    There is so much info out there and communication and collaboration is great. And yes communication breeds new ideas but we but we also need time to synthesise and let those ideas turn into meaningful creation.

    Bye the way this is my first ever comment. So there you go!

  5. Like you, I seem to want to read and soak up as much of the conversation as possible. I find I am intimidated to comment, though, and often decide not to. Then I feel guilty about not contributing… Thanks for posting this, It brings back thinking about balance for me. After a week away from technology, and not missing it at all, I feel I need to refocus my efforts on smaller chunks of information rather than worrying about trying to cram in everything!

  6. Well, you’ve described my ambiguity about commenting and other online activities exactly. I have grown so busy (and that’s my excuse for certain instances of laziness) that I’m addicted to Twitter and often don’t go in for the heavier reading and commenting. The perfectionism, the fear of saying the wrong thing, all of that. I relate. I know that I’ll have more time to blog and comment during my coming break, as I do on the weekends, but what about when I’m back at work? I’m afraid I’m not ready to commit to doing better quite yet as I’ve failed before to keep that promise to myself. I certainly wish you luck and appreciate your good example! Thanks!

  7. I totally agree. I hat eleaving one line comments riddle with typos, when others are leaving page long, insightful narratives, but alas..sometimes we just want the writer to know that we were here and read their work.

    i hope I made my pint with this comment. Typos and all……

  8. Chris,

    Yes, I forgot to mention the “echo chamber” problem too. Sometimes it takes me too long to get around to reading a post (thanks to the too much information problem) that by the time I get there everyone else has already said what I would want to write. Which then means I take even longer to synthesize what’s already been written to add something new. Either or that or it’s like a race to get to blog posts first.

    Lisa,

    You’re doing what I probably should be doing, but something in my personality won’t let me leave the reader behind. Plus, I feel like I have so many people I’m following in Twitter that if I tried to keep up with all of those post too (though many are the same as in my reader) I think I’d go completely nuts.

    Sarah,

    I know what you mean – sometimes it’s just more important to say something than to dither over words. I guess I’m just super conscious of the fact that anything I put in writing will stay there. Forever. And be searchable, by anyone. So I kind of want to make sure what I write reflects what I really mean – in the right tone, with the least amount of mistakes possible. Because you never know who might find it one day.

    4gcblog,

    Congratulations! A first comment on a post about commenting! Perfect :)

    Alice,

    Yes, I think it’s a bit of “too much of a good thing” for me. I just wish I could figure out how to thin things out a little. I feel like if I drop anything out of my reader I’ll “miss” something good. I just need to have faith that the best will rise to the top and be linked to and twittered about in other posts that I read.

    Suzanne,

    Glad to hear I’m not alone. I think it’s a little bit of laziness and a big bit of perfectionism. An odd combination, but it certainly hampers my ability to comment as much as I’d like.

    Intrepid Teacher,

    Thanks for reading! I appreciate your point – sometimes it is just about letting people know that we relate. It’s always good to know that you’re not alone….

  9. Great post, Kim. Commenting is what makes blogging a conversation. It’s what takes it from communication to collaboration (at times).

    Following in your reflective vein, what I see about myself, is that I am a “responder” to ideas, perhaps more than an idea generator myself. As a result, I often have thoughts that occur to me after reading a great post or other great comments.

    Much like my social ability in a big room, I don’t often start conversations, but rather I like to participate in them.

    Commenting affords me that online.

    Scott McLeod wrote on the power and usefulness of commenting much like you. He even issued awards!

    In addition to what you said about it helping to validate new bloggers, I think it’s also important to encourage new bloggers to get out there and read and comment as much as possible, not only to establish a name for yourself and bring back some readers to your blog, but also to work on your “voice” when you are still thinking of ideas to blog about.

    Good luck with the commenting project!

  10. Hi Kim. You continue to teach me, Sensei. Just this morning, I was thinking about the fact that I started blogging about a year ago, and I enjoy sharing what I have learned, but that I don’t know how many folks are reading what I write. Sure, I have a cluster map that shows there are some folks reading, but I don’t get many comments. Well, duh. I don’t really comment much, either. I read A LOT of blogs and I do repost and give credit, but I don’t often leave a comment that I am doing so. Thank you for reminding me of the give and take involved, not only here, but of course in all of life’s exchanges.

  11. Dennis,

    It is so interesting how commenting helps develop ideas in your own mind – much more so than just reading posts. Something about the act of commenting, I think, helps you connect the topic of the post to a new idea of your own (or a reflection of something you had been already thinking about). It’s really amazing to me. Scott has offered the use of his award badge for the Challenge too!

    Alecia,

    I know exactly what you mean! And I’m so embarrassed to see that my lack of commenting often follows me right back to my own blog. Every time I do leave a comment I’m reminded how powerful the process is and I want to start doing more commenting…. Let’s hope this Comment Challenge helps me create some better blogging habits :)

  12. HI kim,

    You’re so totally correct about how many of us read without contributing, I really enjoy reading your blog, however, I don’t think I’ve left any comments on it as yet. Certainly time is a factor, in fact, right now I was only looking up your blog address to send to someone else on another blog who might find it useful!

    However, I thought I’d leave a quick note to say well done on a great blog, and hopefully I’ll leave some more useful comments later!

  13. You angst re: time, its confines and constraints, speaks to me. Your post reminds me that while I have “author-awe” (Langwitches), commenting is something we all can do. I used to engage in conversations via commenting, then stopped, for no particular reason as I sit here say “why” to the 10th power. So, you are my first international comment and I’m glad to go global at last.
    What I will take away, what Steve Dembo calls “clicking,” (I so wish we could hyperlink in comment boxes) is that no matter what our jobs or where we live, our online learning community matters and deserves sustainability via commenting. We will never have enough time, but eye surgery this week has limited (severely) my online time, so I have determined to make every minute count. To that end, I am renewing my commitment to collaboration and will strive to become a better conversationalist. Thank you for your engaging post which truly inspired me. (And please don’t worry about getting back to me; I’m just so glad I found you.)

  14. @ritajeanstangherlin,

    Thank you so much for your positive feedback! I really appreciate that you have taking the time to comment here. And I’m so proud to be part of your first international commenting conversation (thought I think Langwitches should count because she’s totally international)!

    Good luck with your surgery recovery – and I bet you’re going to have a very engaging and rich learning week with all your renewed commenting! Oh, you can make links in a comment box too! All you need is a little bit of html :) Do a quick google search on link tags for html and you’ll find the code – it’s very simple and you should be able to use it in most (if not all) commenting forms.

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